🔗 Share this article

Name: Horse chestnuts.

History: Introduced to the UK 409 years ago.

Look: Nature's collectible doll.

That can't be accurate. It is. Check out a social media video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll almost certainly hear them refer to it as “nature's Labubu”.

Opening up horse chestnuts? What on Earth are you talking about? Goodness, you really are not up to date, aren’t you? Gen Zers are using social platforms to record videos removing conkers from their spiky capsules.

What's the reason? Because of the feeling of amazement! When you unbox a conker, you can't predict what you’re going to get. Will it be big? Will it be flat? How shiny will it be? It is similar to a surprise package every time!

Do Labubu dolls share those traits? No, they’re somewhat eerie dolls that have become collectible because they are sold in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform gen Z that they’re not using conkers correctly? Are they? How do you do conkers, then?

You put a shoelace through the middle of them, and try to destroy everyone else’s conkers. Wow, really? That’s unusual.

Yeah. Your odds improve if you leave it in vinegar and then bake it like a pie. You're not joking?

Seriously. And if you end up collecting too many conkers, you can hurl them across the playground and all the other kids will fight each other for them. A lovely item from nature like a conker, and you use it as a weapon? A weapon that comes with a long set of arcane and bewildering rules?

That's the custom! King Charles literally just presented the World Conker Championships with three hundred horse chestnuts! At least gen Z is only filming them.

How are you unaware of this? At a guess, because certain schools prohibited the game two decades ago, due to various health and safety fears.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe revealing horse chestnuts just doesn't appeal to you. In which case, perhaps you would be more interested in some other hot new gen Z trends.

Is that so? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called yarn work, and something else called pottery that I can describe for you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you heat tools in apple drink and then use them to jab one another?

No! OK, relax. I assumed that all older generation's pastimes involved violence in some form, after that conker thing.

This is overwhelming. Relax for a moment. If you need me, I’ll be opening plant seeds online.

Do say: “Social media loves showcasing nut discoveries.”

Don’t say: “This is nuts.”